Blazing Barbecue Bashes

I have to share this, because, by far, it has been the most exciting emotional experience ever (I know, too many ‘e’ words). Last week we were shooting at Millers 46, which I would like to call as “Bangalore’s Best Steakhouse”. I got to meet the very young and enthusiastic Jude Koshy, and believe me when I say; this is one restaurateur who is truly passionate about his food (more about him and Millers 46 in another blog). During an interesting conversation (from Cheesecakes to World Cuisine to Steaks to Sizzlers to Wines), Jude gave me directions to where I could pick up a good Barbecue Grill.

With the fresh changes to my terrace space, I really wanted a good Barbecue set. Two days back we had a small terrace-warming party with close friends and relatives. This is when ‘I’ got to barbecue - chicken, cottage cheese (paneer), baby corn, capsicum, and mushrooms. The barbecuing experience was truly rewarding and even more satisfying, when you get to taste the final chunks in your mouth. Freshly barbecued food is the best thing you could ever put in your mouth ;-)

My Verb: Put barbecued food in mouth, stand still for 15 seconds, absorb this ‘soft-wet-juicy-crispy’ experience and cherish it until your next barbecue.

But for all those of you who want to barbecue but don’t know how to; following are few steps (Jude, thank you for all the specific instructions; couldn’t have done it without you dude) you need to adhere to before taking the plunge:



Step 0: Pick up a good quality (read, no-frill) metal barbecue grill made of high gauge sheet metal. I picked up mine from Richard’s Square (near Russell Market, Bangalore) and along with the stand it cost me 2,500 INR (money well spent I would say). Make sure the barbecue grill set comes with wood-handle metal skewers, metal-striped top (for flat sliced meet) and a slide tray (to collect burnt ash). While you are there, you also need to pick up Charcoal (10 kilos may cost anywhere between 75-100 INR), Kerosene (2 litres), Barbecue Sauces, Wooden Skewers, Brushes (for applying Sauce as well as a large one for cleaning), Wood Handled Tongs, Black Apron, and Black Barbecue Gloves (Mittens). With this small kit, you are all set to become a ‘Barbecue Master’.

Step 1: Spread the charcoal to cover the pit of your barbecue grill and keep it in an open dry warm place. Do this at least 2 hours before you plan to start your barbecue. Meanwhile remember to oil your metal skewers and get your marinated food ready. I got my marinated chicken cubes from Millers 46 (you could contact them on +91 80 4113 1746) and the final output was simply fantastic. The cottage cheese was marinated at home, but whichever way you choose to go, remember that the food needs to be well marinated (a minimum of 4 hours).

Step 2: One hour before you plan to start barbecuing, make a mountain of your spread out charcoal with a small radial base. Now, pour kerosene to the tip of the barbecue to wet the charcoal. Leave it for about 30 min.

Step 3: After 30 min. light a long matchstick and throw it on the top of this mountain. The kerosene will light up slowly but surely. Allow the entire mountain to catch fire. Wait for the blaze to settle down, this might take about 20-30 min.

Step 4: Put on your apron and gloves. Cover the barbecue pit with the striped top. Place your meat or fish slices on this top. Meanwhile, cubed-food could be inserted through the skewers and placed on the barbecue grill. Use the tongs to flip the flat food. When the food starts to turn black or very dark brown, it time to rotate of flip. You might burn your food in the beginning but don’t fret, you’ll only bound to get better. Serve blazing hot.

Barbecued food goes well with Virgin Mary, Beer, Whisky, Scotch, and Wine. The best part about barbecuing food in a charcoal grill is that it tastes very ‘full’ as compared to grilling it in a gas or electric grill. It’s as though the flavours emanating from the charcoal get added to the finished food. It’s an experience never to be missed and moreover the process is just so fulfilling that you would want to do it every week. And I would say, go ahead, every week has a Sunday to kill.



The above is a collage of my roof-covered open terrace. I tried to maintain a very Mediterranean look-and-feel and the results are satisfying. But then you guys do let me know how your experience with the barbecue was. All the best and keep it HOT.

Oh come on! Drink the Pepsi

Pepsi Ad: Starring Rajeev Bakshi, Lab Analyst, Model, and the Pepsi Bottling Plant.
Rating: 1.0/5.0 (Only because the media planner chose the right spots to place the ad.)

Let me start this blog with a strong background of branding, which I constantly advocate. Though I try to live the brand, I most often fail to be as calculative or manipulative. Sometime back, I was producing a 5 minute video segment on the Jain College Management Fest (Sri Bhagwan Mahaveer Jain College – Centre for Management Studies). As work demanded, I was forced to attend this particular event which was on the lines of a Mock Press.

In the mock press, participants (BBM graduates) were the HR Managers who represented a major Cola Brand. They had to hold their own during a press conference (press was being represented by the audience members and a panel of judges). Press members were expected to do what they do best – criticize, blame and sensationalize (on the latest pesticide controversy). This particular event was more a test of metal. Six teams with two-members in each team participated. And all of them walked into the conference and debated with the press while drinking to their mineral water (in this case Manikchand Oxyrich) bottles.

Once the event got done with, I couldn’t resist myself from taking the mike and addressing these young students. “You need to learn to live the brand. Cola is not bottled coloured water. It is a Brand. Walk in with your bottles of the cola instead of mineral water and you’ve won 60% of the battle. The press will automatically become believers. Even if they do criticize, somewhere, they would give you credibility for living the brand” I said. And that is the key lesson here. The lessons are not how to answer (or deny) the press, instead how to give a certain impression of confidence to the press. Walk in with your bottles of Cola to a Press Conference and drink that stuff. I would assure you, you’ve won the battle.



Going on the same terms, I was shocked to see the latest Pepsi ad. The ad shows, Rajeev Bakshi (Chairman, Pepsi India) giving a monologue on how Pepsi is safe for everyone (including his family, friends etc.). As a friend pointed out, not once does he include himself in the script. But there was something graver to the ad. In my eagerness, it dawned to me that not one person drank the liquid from the bottle. Every cast member kept passing the bottle to each other, but nobody drank from it. If you want the public to believe, make the Chairman drink from the bottle. Shoot him in various situations during the day (breakfast, lunch, tea-time, meetings, in the car etc.) and show him drinking Pepsi wherever he goes. This would make the public buy into your argument (no matter how fake). I am obviously quite shocked how brands such as Pepsi or Coca Cola have gotten it all wrong. * I think they need to get in touch with me for suggestions on a serious image makeover – they seem to be doing an awful job of it. :-) *

So guys (and gals), if you ever plan to present an image of yourself or the brand you represent, make sure you are:

Consistent
Believable and
Live 'the' Brand

Don’t let the consumer catch you with your lips sealed.

Thread Bare

Akshay Cherian (Un-Underweared)
People First Fails to Convince

Ok. I am angry, pissed, furious and beyond wild. I am exhausted and sleepy, but I need to expose this guy, and his scam. I hate it when gifted people (people with the relentless power of communication & expression); misuse their talent in leading ‘impressionable minds’ into believing a whole lot of hog-wash and profiting from it. Before I go any further, let me start from the beginning.

So I was at Barista, St. Marks Road, Bangalore to meet up with old acquaintances. It has been a while since my previous visit, to what used to be a beautiful café. I was disappointed to see the blue couch erased (just like that!) from this high ceiling building. It now stands to look just like a congested dining area in a marriage hall. Just plain ugly, doesn’t stand for anything Barista used to be known for. But what added to this large mess was a group of youngsters, who were all huddled together listening intently to this guy named Akshay Cherian. On asking the brewmaster, I was told that this guy constantly brought a congregation of atleast ten ‘impressionable minds*’ with him every day. He would sit with them and speak, for anywhere between 3 to 4 hours each evening. I suspect this group changes everyday.

Since at that time, this seemed to be such a nuisance, our table tried to find out what the commotion was all about. “We are youngsters working for an organization called People First”, pat came the reply. This is when a short, wide ‘impressionable mind’ turned to face us and began explaining what People First was all about. What we could gather from him was that the organization plans to create 30,000 leaders by 2010. For as vague and impossible as that sounded, I had to press further. I tried to explain to them that each organization has a mission statement, what was theirs? “Transforming people. Transforming society.”, came the reply. This is when I retorted saying that the mission statement sounded more like a bottom line, which actually turned out to be true. Well an in-depth 2 hr conversation with these ‘impressionable minds’ and it was easy for me to see through the make-believe.

Well, here is the mathematics:
30,000 ‘impressionable minds’ will pay for the workshop (costs 800 INR per workshop)
30,000 x 800 = 2,40,00,000 INR (2.4 crores INR)

Since the rough average profit for such programs for the founder is an easy 50%, Akshay Cherian might walk home with a cool 1.2 crores (by 2010). Not to mention the huge amount of good-will that he might have generated, which I am sure he could en-cash anytime in his future.

I am completely fine with the above, except that he makes use of the force of today’s ‘impressionable minds’ to serve as his mascots, word-of-mouth marketers, accountants, administrators, etc. And quite obviously, these ‘impressionable minds’ are nicked ‘interns’, which means legally you are not bound to pay them anything. Simply put, Akshay has begun an ‘Amway concept’ run service organization. But at some point in time, ‘impressionable minds’ will see through the complex clutter and that’s when the - Shit Will Hit The Fan. I just hope ‘impressionable minds’ will not scar when that happens.



Some kind suggestions to Akshay Cherian and People First:

1. Please spend sometime (even 10 minutes off your ultra-busy schedules would do) in going through your excuse for a website. The website has more typos than my Tamil grandmother’s English letter to me. And grandma’s neither convent educated nor from St. Stephens.

2. Get your interns to talk more about your organization and less about you (Akshay). They seem to gloat more about you than the ideologies on which your Amway sort of a training institute is supposed to stand on.

3. I think you need to add more corporate names to your list, my maid works in more houses than the number of companies you seem to have coached. Or may be in the past 4 years, all you were capable of getting entry into just 7 corporations.

4. If you have the guts, target your program to people who are older than 22. Or maybe, like me, these ‘grown-ups’ will just see through your make believe. Probably why you have just 7 corporations under your belt or should I say underwear?

5. Stop being obsessed with underwear, and using it as an analogy (http://ipeoplefirst.com/blog/?p=7). Underwears don’t have dreams, or for that matter strengths. It just shows your immaturity, when it comes to analogy creation. Stop using curse words on your blog, it’s the least bit flattering. Get your basics on grammar and spelling right (I am sure you can afford Microsoft Word).

6. Just because, you’ve read IdeaVirus by Seth Godin, doesn’t mean others haven’t. Also, remember that your service offering (in this case the training program) needs to be based on something with a strong foundation (other than money).

7. Please get some ‘enlightened souls’ to post some comments on your relatively unknown blog (http://www.ipeoplefirst.com/blog/). I am sure, ‘impressionable minds’ would love to know more about your life, conquests and future. Oops! Sorry, but wasn’t People First more about Transforming People. Or maybe People in this context meant just Akshay Cherian.

* Please note that the author has used – ‘impressionable minds’ instead of ‘youngsters’ only to re-iterate the fact that it’s easy to mould the minds of 18-22 yr olds.

Disclaimer: I could be wrong about some or all of the above, probably because I am working on very few facts in hand. But, to understand the ulterior motive of a human being is next to impossible. If only, the founder had spent five minutes in explaining to me what his organization stood for, instead of showing no courtesy whatsoever. Then again, maybe he has no idea himself about what his organization is supposed to stand for. Snapshot of the website has been used without permission since the website had no Copyright information at the time this blog was published.

Highway Cuisine

A1 Plaza 2.5/5.0 (Service – 2.0/5.0; Food – 2.5/5.0; Décor – 3.0/5.0)
Kamat Upachar 3.0/5.0 (Service – 3.0/5.0; Food – 3.0/5.0; Décor – 3.0/5.0)

I am back and hopefully with a bang. My videos on Bangalore Live, say ‘I am back’. Well, then it must be true :- ) My long absence was due to a serious health setback rolled in with a NDE (Near Death Experience), about which I might elaborate in another blog. I’ve always loved driving and my latest client gave me that opportunity with two trips to Tumkur. Let me point out that Tumkur, under the right circumstances (such as a Ferrari, no potholes, no traffic and an early rise – before the cook-a-doodle doo), is an hours drive from R.T. Nagar. Ok, maybe I was pushing it too far with the Ferrari, but the other circumstances, believe it or not, do exist.

What’s fantastic about the journey on the Tumkur - NH 4 highway is the presence of a Toll Road (32 km. stretch) just after the Mangalore highway intersection. My nimble fingers controlled the gear shift with such ease that I was able to touch the unbelievable 150 km/h barrier without any vibrations. The 4 lanes (2 lanes for each way) toll road has a charge of 21.00 Rs. (for a mid-size) per usage. Would even advice romantics to take their better halves on a ‘long drive’ (I didn’t have that privilege though).

So what’s the headline all about? I would like to bring to your attention that this highway stretch seems to have two very experimental eating joints (call them rest-houses if you may) of above average standards. Say goodbye to unhygienic, stinky highway-side dhabhas and welcome the new and modern ‘Highway Cuisine’.

Reliance Highway Petrol Bunks seem to have a modern eating-joint called A1 Plaza. Let me point out that this franchisee run A1 Plaza has everything which would ensure a comfortable meal of choice. It has everything from an open kitchen, to clean tables, prompt service and an outlet where you can pick up your travel accompaniments (short-eats, toiletries, junk food, OTC medicines etc.). This is a partially open eatery with plenty of parking space and a hygienic eating experience. With an open kitchen, A1 Plaza ensures that their predominantly north-indian food (thalis cost 20.00 – 30.00 Rs.) is prepared fresh and right in front of your eyes. Way to go Reliance!





On the same lines, Indian Oil Highway Petrol Bunks have Kamat Upachar attached to them. The only difference between A1 Plaza and Kamat Upachar is the goodwill of the Kamat brand and a wider south-indian spread. Though slightly more expensive (plate of Sambhar-Vada would cost 22.00 Rs.), you could be assured of the Kamat Experience here at Kamat Upachar. Armed with a large parking space, pure-vegetarian spread, open seating (top covered), canopies, and the Kamat, ‘service with a smile’, attitude – Kamat Upachar would make an apt choice. Check it for yourselves and do let me know. Meanwhile, drive on.

Harima - The Land of Sashimi, Sushi, Nigiri, Sake & Wasabi

Harima - 4.5/5.0 (Only because my perfect restaurant hasn't been created as yet.)

Dher aaye pur durust aaye (Came late but came energetic). That's right, its been a while since my visit to Harima (4th Floor, Devatha Plaza, Residency Road, Bangalore) but the flavour still tingles my tongue everytime I think of this heaven. I am ... a 'Detox Vegetarian', which basically means I turn vegetarian atleast once a year for a period of atleast 6 months. But when it comes to Japanese food, I can't help but break the rules. This rule-breaking would title me a Bengali Brahmin (nope, I am not Bengali), which would make me a fish-eating vegetarian.



Harima is 'The (note the use of the word in all its glory) Only Authentic Japanese Heaven' in Bangalore. Heaven because each time you put fractions of your serving in your mouth, you make satisfactory noises like no other (ummmmmmm). Raw fish in all its glory.

Some Japanese food basics:
Sashimi is thin slices of raw fish (or other seafood) prepared in delicate ways, usually served as an appetizer with dipping sauces.
Sushi is an assortment of cold vinegar flavoured rice, topped with sashimi and other ingredients of choice, rolled in nori (seaweed).
Nigiri is sashimi rolled around sushi rice.
Sake is a Japanese alcoholic drink brewed from rice.
Wasabi is made from the roots of Japanese horseradish and has a very strong flavour (believe me when I say 'very' strong).

Sashimi, sushi, and nigiri are usually served with a combination of soy sauce and wasabi. Now, here is where Harima weilds its experience - the sauce given to you along with the dish will have the right mix of wasabi and soy sauce (just right to suit the Indian pallette). You would be better off letting the experts decide on this mix, because the first time I was allowed to customise it for myself, thinking wasabi was like green chutney, I used a little too much of it. Lesson learnt the hard way, just to tell you that excessive use of wasabi could knock all your senses out for a good 15 min. It's the strongest chutney your tongue would have ever touched. I have a theory that a ladoo sized wasabi put in your mouth in a single intake could render a person unconscious (anyone want to take me up on that).

When you are at Harima, just go ahead and pick any item off the menu, all of them taste just fabulous. The decor of the place is 100% Japanese. They have gone to the extent of providing you with an option of getting seated on cushions placed on the floor (just the way the Japanese do it in Japan). I am told that Japanese Toyota officials often dine here. Harima also specialises in the world famous Bento (Japanese packed lunches).

If you are headed there, better make sure you bow to the Rajasthani dressed as a Samurai with a fake plastic sword at the entrance. For this is one Samurai who knows no Japanese. Haiyaaan ;-)

Most Wanted

Win a bottle of Red Wine FREE !

Ok, so its been more than 4 weeks now and my search for the ISO standard Wine Glass refuses to come to an end. After 24 glassware stores, 12 general stores (big ones mind you) and 4 malls later, that perfect glass still seems to elude my fingers. It seems as though Bangaloreans don't really want to enjoy their wine. This is inspite of a prime vineyard (Grover Vineyards) just at the outskirts.



For the uninitiated, the glass needs to be of that specific shape for the enhancement of the wines' features. Each wine is judged by the four human senses : Sight, Smell, Taste, and Touch. More on this in a future blog. Needless to say, most wines are swirled before putting your lips to the elixir. This swirl is performed in order to check for the amount of alcohol (in most cases there is) or for the presence of sugar syrup (absent in present day wines). If a thick viscous trasparent liquid sticks to the sides of the glass after the mandatory swirl, it shows the presence of alcohol. Depending on the viscosity, the alcohol content can be determined. Getting back to the topic, the shape of the glass ensures the wine does not spill during the swirling process.

As I send this blog out to the digital world, I am hoping that another Bangalorean would come across this blog and help me find this most wanted entity. You guys know where to reach me. All the best, Oh! I almost forgot about the reward: Anyone who could help me locate that perfect wine glass would be entitled to a free bottle of Red Wine. Any takers?

Mission : Six Six Six

The Omen - 2.5 / 5.0
Mission Impossible III - 3.0 / 5.0

Well this week was all about the movies. It was just shoot, shoot, shoot (for those who don't know me, I am a Net Jockey cum Producer for Sify's Bangalore Live) until Wednesday (07 Jun 2006), after which I intended to get some "Inspiration Space". This means I get to watch 3 DVDs each day, which I effectively did. But this doesn't distance me away from the Silver Screen.

Just for kicks, a sweet friend and colleague - Black Tongue (real name not mentioned for obvious reasons) & I wanted to watch the remade version of The Omen on 6/6/6 at 6:06 pm in Inox (a popular multiplex in Garuda Mall, Bangalore). She was a little skeptical about the same, you know how women are when it comes to scary movies ... Oops I forgot to tell you why I nicked her Black Tongue - it's because whatever she utters, just comes true. Not that she can go onto winning a Lottery whenever she wants to, but more like she has a sixth sense that puts her in the right place.



Anyways, I was at the Inox counter at sharp 6:06 pm (weird !) and managed to make a few last minute calls to get the tickets, which I did. But here is the crazy part, the guy at the booking counter later told me that exactly 6 tickets remained unsold from F6 (6th row, 6th seat) onwards (ok! that's carrying it too far, the last part was just absolute rubbish). The remake was nowhere as good as its original and didn't have the much required consistency. The casting could have been better, the music was just a sham, the acting was pathetic (but the Doberman would get a 4.5/5.0) and the budgets were low. But hey!, what the heck, I would still give the movie a strong 2.5/5.0 - watch it if you really have time to strangle. Rest assured, the movie ticket would add to our souvenir collection.

But here's a sincere help out, MI:3 was a complete let down. Each sequel seems to be getting worse. They didn't have much money for the project and it shows. The stunts are not as exciting, the women aren't as great and there is a serious lack of high-end gadgetry. At the very best, it was an attempt at a 1980s James Bond flick. Watch it if your girlfriend's out of town, you don't want to stay home and your fingers don't want to respond to another video game. But I would honestly suggest a pair of binoculars to be more exciting than this movie. Being as generous as I am, I would give this movie a very hesitant 3.0/5.0 - only because the plot was inspired from a Dan Brown book "Angels & Demons". Watch out for Anti-God.

A few of the movies I got to watch on DVD and how they fared:
Syriana - 3.5/5.0 (Oscar Type)
Ball and Chain - 2.5 / 5.0 (Indian American)
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - 1.5 / 5.0 (Action Mystery)
Taxi 9211 - 2.5 / 5.0 (Indian Funny with Rona Dhona ending)

If this week has taught me anything, it's that : When alone in depression, be more alone than ever. This would get you to realise that the state of depression is still better.

Here is a little trivia for you -
666 is a sign of luck in Chinese culture. The number 6 sounds like luck, so 666 is three-times lucky.
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (phew!) is the fear of the number 666 - Number of the Beast.

Big Fun with the Big Co#$ ?

A comedian just seems to find material wherever he goes. The following poster was in the back of a Coke delivery van on Cunningham Road. Was the pun intended or was it just an innocent mistake. Does Ms.Rai know about this, because with the way her personal life is headed, Coke seems to be the only blow (read whistle) between her lips. *lol*

Blog Wild!

Finally, I got myself to re-blog. I am so convinced in the medium, to the extent of getting you all to believe that this medium could revolutionise the way we look at the world. In a conversation or a group discussion - expressions & ideas get suppressed (by the more vociferous), but in a medium such as this, no ideas need to be sidelined.

" ... spreading ideas is the single most important output of our civilization.", were the words of Seth Godin. We in the blog blog world are here, to just do that.



My blog shall be about - Bangalore (my Mecca), humour, adventure, the extra-ordinary, the sublimal, and "The Fine Life". I would request every visitor to leave a comment, no matter how trivial, and to keep coming back for more.